turned upside down
by i.dont.even.know
Summary: i didnt expect this...i dont know...i cant love her...she loves aiden...ugh life sucks. loving your bestfriend leads to a long winding roadof lies, love, and heartbreak.


**so, this is my first story so please review it..and let me know what you think...i dont know if i should keep it going or not...so just let me know how you feel about it**

**disclaimer: i dont own south of nowhere or any of the characters...i wish i did though, the show is brilliant....but know tommy lynch owns this one.**

this doesnt have anything to do with that

then what?..what is it spencer?!..what does it have to do with?

it has to do with the fact, that i cant get you out of my head...and that i always want to be with you, and when im not im thinking about you....it has to with the way you are the only one that truly gets me...and makes me happy...it has to do with how you are so much more to than my bestfriend....and it has to do with the fact that if i knew i had 1 minute to live the only thing i would wanna do is...is kiss you....

-  
there are several situations, events, things, whatever you want to call them that could have led up to this point...to the point of me..of us breaking. me yelling and spilling my heart out to my bestfriend....and ripping away the innocence of our friendship. but what really happened....it's probably the most terrrible, beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. so, let me lead you on a story of friendship, love, heartbreak, and life...and hopefully the ending is happy.

ashley and i....we weren't anything alike...some would say we were exact opposites, which made our friendship all the more exciting. we had a connection...a chemistry..that moved beyond us. we understood each other and what we needed ...which when it came down to it...the only thing either of us truly needed, was each other. because she had the strength that i didnt have, and i had the calmness and stableness that she lacked. we just...we completed each other in a way.

we met in 9th grade and were never apart after that. now in our junior year in high school, it was supposed to be our year.  
we were going to go out, have fun, and relish in our friendship and the fact that we didnt need anyone else. which was going great..untill ash met aiden and fell in love. people had always said that me and ash were to physical to be just friends, but that was just how we were...i really didnt even notice...it was normal for me to sit on her lap during lunch or hold hands in the hallway or cuddle, it was just what we did...untill aiden. they were in "love" and now she didnt need me as much. she could sit on his lap or hold his hand or cuddle with him....and it hurt. it hurt to watch the only person that could ever scare away your fears with just one hug slowly fade out of your life. i mean we were still best friends, but it wasnt the same. it was never just me and her it was either her and him or all of us...except saturday movie night. that was our night and there was exception to that, not even for aiden.  
-----------------------movie night----------------------------

it was a couple of months after she started dating aiden, and we were sitting on opposite ends of the couching watching The Notebook, or at least she was watching it. i was trying to ignore the space that was betwen us...emotionally and physically. and i guess i wasnt doing a very good job at it, because halfway through the movie she grabbed the remote paused the movie and turned to face me. i refused to look at her, but she just sat there...staring.

s:"what?"

a:"im waiting for you to tell me whats wrong...what youve been thinking about since you got here."

s:"nothings wrong and im not thinking about anything...im just watching the movie."

a:"whatever...you werent watching the movie and you know it."

s:"yes.."(i was getting angry and she knew that)

"really?"

"yes. really."

"then what part is it on??"

"um...the...part where...the bird scence...you know? the if your a bird im a bird thing."

"ummmmm...no...its the scene where noah comes back from war."

"ughh...can we just watch the movie nothing is wrong."

"spence, i know you. and i know when something is wrong"she's write about that...but im winning this one, even if im crying while doing it.

"if you know me so well, then you should know what's wrong." with that her face softened and she grabbed my hands

"i do...look i know we havent been able to hang out as much since aiden...and im sorry. i just...i miss you and not seeing you is just as hard on me as it is on you."

"thats a lie...because if it were true then you wouldnt have left me in the first place."

"spencer, i never left i just....i just got a boyfriend."

"yeah, i get it...i mean hes just more important than me....i understand."

"no, no, and no...hes not more important than you..damn it...im sorry okay..my first priority is you, always has been and always will be."

"awesome job at showing it...do you realize this is the longest conversation we've had since umm oh about 2 months ago. did you know that my art project is going to be shown in new york at a gallery...do you even remember promising me you'd go...this is a dream come true for me...the only thing missing is the fact that you didnt even care to ask about it. or anything about me for the past 2 months."

"oh...spencer........im sooooo so so sorry....i suck...and i do remember...and i will go...im so proud of you...i suck ok?..just please forgive me....please?"

i nodded. and leaned in to hug her....and while we were hugging it....i forgot...i forgot i was mad or that i was hurt...and i just hugged her with everything i had...because i needed to be close with her...and it was in that second that everything seemed to be ok as long as she was holding me...that i realized...that i spencer carlin am in love with ashley davies...my straight bestfriend who is madly in love with her boyfriend....

im so screwed.


End file.
